Communication comes from the French root word “communicare” meaning to unite or to impart, so when couples communicate, they should be able to impart or share the information correctly. Language is considered man’s greatest invention, and if it were not for language, nothing would have come out of humanity. Likewise, in a marriage, proper communication is what would keep the bond stronger and long lasting.
You and your spouse may speak the same language, but if you do not “communicate” properly, then problems would occur. There are certain rules observed in proper communication. Although these may not be applicable in some instances, couples should practice these significant pointers, whenever they can.
1. Face each other when talking
Make it a point to look at each other’s eyes when talking. Take time to sit down and face each other. If you cannot spare the time to sit down, then at least, face each other. Facing each other will help you detect non-verbal clues. A raised eyebrow, a smirk, a smile, and a frown could all mean more than the spoken words. If your spouse says “yes,” but has a frown on her face, then consider it as a “no.” Reading non-verbal cues will help a lot in understanding each other.
2. Be honest with your statements
Speak the truth at all times, unless it is a question between life and death. Be honest with your statements. If you would like to communicate properly and share a long lasting relationship, then tell your partner what you truly feel.
3. Pay attention to your spouse
Pay attention when your spouse is talking. Stop what you are doing and really listen to what is being said. It also shows that you value your spouse’s thoughts and ideas.
4. Ask follow up questions
Clarify what your spouse said by asking follow-up questions. Sometimes, misunderstandings occur because the information was not transmitted accurately. This can be prevented when you understand correctly what your spouse wanted to share.
5. Communicate in the “same language”
You may both speak English fluently but it does not mean you have communicated successfully. Make sure that you are referring to the same thing with the terms you are using. It also means communicating when the spouse is receptive for your message. If the mood is not right, then choose another time to do it.
6. Be positive with your statements
You can say, “I prefer blue,” instead of saying, “I don’t like yellow.” You can say, “Remember the cheese,” instead of saying, “Don’t forget the cheese.” Positive statements attract positive vibes. Researches have proven that cultivating an optimistic behavior contributes to a happier person to more successful relationships.
7. Never shout unless the house is on fire
Vital messages are more effective when you convey them in a clear but modulated voice. Shouting would render your spouse deaf, and he or she may leave you instead of listening. That is why when you are angry, you have to cool down first before opening your mouth.
You might say things you do not really mean because you are angry. You may apologize afterwards but you can never take back the words you have spoken, and spoken words hurt more than physical abuse.
There are still numerous pointers for a better communication. The important thing to remember is that your spouse is your partner whom you should trust and communicate openly. Couples who communicate properly are always happier and they usually maintain meaningful and longer relationships.
