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A Tribute to a Doctor, a Poet, a Blogger and a Friend

Time flies quickly. It was only a year ago when he made his presence known online through questions like, Zorlone Do women get attracted (more) to men with a “BAD BOY” image?

He started his online career by participating in an online forum – MyLot. His questions were funny and witty, and his answers were informative and concise.

It was his short verse:

I write as I think, but I think differently.

I say how I feel, but my thoughts betray me.

I live as I learn form all the things i see.

And I write once again, because I love it.

that made me realize he had more to offer. He moved on to contribute to Helium.com , a writing site, with his varied articles like poems, songs , and health topics. Then he published his first poem online through Gewgaw Writings with – “A Zany Cinquain from Zorlone.”

Dr. Lorenzo Bernardino

Dr. Lorenzo Bernardino

The embers of his passion for writing was gradually turning into a conflagration that was difficult to extinguish , prompting him to create his firs blog at blogspot.com – Zorlone.

Slowly his star started to shine. He was a fast learner and in no time at all, he had learned the intricate ways of blogging to go on and win several contests with his award Reader’s Choice Award and Best Storyteller for his story My blog reconnected me to my lost son.

Readers began to troop to his blog. This post had more or less 90 comments.

He is also a consistent winner of the WOOF contest held by Plotdog.com

And was ranked 4 during the Top 10 Emerging Influential Blogs for 2009.

He got his own site now Zorlone: A Dose of Creative Writing, and got published too in the Inspirational Stories of Bloggers from all Over the World .

He had also his seconds of fame in the boob tube by being the resident Doctor for Channel 2’s primetime TV show - PBB -PINOY BIG BROTHER

He continues to be an inspiration to others, a good doctor, a prolific poet, an uber blogger and a wonderful friend- that’s Dr. Lorenzo Bernardino, for you  AND Doc Zorlone to his online friends.

Rank 4 - Top 10 Emerging Influential Blogs for 2009- Courtesy of Ada Lajara

Rank 4 - Top 10 Emerging Influential Blogs for 2009- Courtesy of Ada Lajara

He now has to turn a new chapter in his book of life. Doc Zorlone, we pray for your success , well being and happiness.

We will miss you for sure, but we know, this chapter has to be written!

Paint the sky with your poetry in your soon to be new IP address. lol.

We are just a post away!

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Book Tour: A Red Carpet for “A Puppy, Not a Guppy”

Title of Book:  A Puppy, Not a Guppy
Author:
Holly Jahangiri
Illustrator: Ryan Shaw
Genre: Children’s Picture Book

“The message here is that you can choose to be miserable, or you can be resourceful and choose to find something to be happy about. It’s also about treating people (and animals) the way you hope they’ll turn out – not necessarily the way you expect them to turn out.”

These are the thoughts of the author herself – Holly Jahangiri.

Today it’s my utmost pleasure to host this virtual book tour. I’m rolling the red carpet for the children’s book : A Puppy, Not a Guppy!

About the Author

The Author

The Author

Holly Janhangiri ‘s propensity for writing has started at a very early age which was prompted by her passion for reading. She was into Edgar Allan Poe even before girls of her age came to know about the famous author. She was a precocious child as evidenced by her entering college, in a special class in French , at age 12.

In college, she attended Theater Arts and switched to Rhetoric & Writing. Consequently, she was able to pursue law but opted to work as a computer specialist later, and then eventually as a technical writer. It was in this field that she was able to fulfill her dream of being a “novelist.”

There are two other good books to her name: Trockle was her first children’s picture book released in April 2008 and Hidden Lies and Other Stories – a collection of interesting short stories.

The Book:  “A Puppy, Not a Guppy”

Irma, the heroine of the story is a girl who wanted to have a puppy for a pet. Her parents though were opposed to her plans. How Irma ended up with the guppies gives an interesting plot that you should read in this book.

This book was intended for children by the author.  After reading it though,  I realized it’s a good read for adults as well. If you have come across The Little Prince by Antoine Saint de Exupery where the famous quotation : “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly,” and Jonathan Livingstone Seagull by Richard Bach focusing on “doing the impossible”,  then  this book – A Puppy, Not a Guppy -  has encompassed both of the themes of the two books mentioned, and more.

a book you should own

a book you should own

My two cents’ worth

I have concentrated on 4 categories to describe my personal thoughts about the book.

1. Interest

Children’s books should be presented in simple but titillating sentences that would perk up the interest of the child to go on reading. The habit of reading should be cultivated in children;   allowing them to have visually attractive books could motivate them to read more.

The book’s opening lines: “We can’t have a puppy, and that’s final,” said Irma’s mother;’  is a powerful, action sentence that successfully kindles the curiosity of the reader  on  how the problem would be resolved.   Parents should cultivate in children the passion for reading for various beneficial reasons, and this book could serve this purpose.

2. Usefulness

It has quite a number of lessons, not only for children, but also for adults.  It demonstrates the values of “Positive Reinforcement’ and “shaping”, among all the other lessons that a child could learn.  Both parent and child could read the book and go through the wonderful experience together.  This activity would definitely  strengthen the bond between parent and child.

3. Layout/illustrations

The perfect team-up of author and illustrator - Holly Jahangiri and Ryan Shaw
- harnessed the book’s attractive, visual presentation. Ryan Shaw – who works for Three Bros Studios – stated that being an illustrator for children’s books has been his dream.  The dynamic duo had come up with a notable work of art , in this book.

4. Over-all Impression:

A Puppy, Not a Guppy, for all the reasons I mentioned above ,  should be a part of every family’s library collection. The most important rationale is the priceless life’s lessons that children could learn from it.

As a bonus, the author was gracious enough to answer my questions:

1. Considering your extensive experience in writing, how come you’ve written children’s books instead of adult books? Adult books like – books on writing, SEO, marketing, fiction  or adult novels.

“I write grown up non-fiction daily, or nearly so. I write technical documentation for a living, and I have written and published non-fiction articles for years. Before I wrote Trockle’, most of my fiction was aimed at an adult or teen audience – you can find some of it on the Web, but very little of it has been published,” she enthused.

“I’m really terrible when it comes to submitting my work to a publisher. I tend to share it with my children, maybe with a few friends, then I stick it on a disk or CD and shove that into the back of a drawer and forget about it.

Writing is the easy part – the fun part. I am not cut out to be a salesman, though I’m getting a little better at it.  Anyway, I’ve published self published two books of my own, and two anthologies with Vivian Gilbert Zabel, who later established  4RV Publishing and asked if she could publish Trockle and A Puppy, Not a Guppy. She’s one of the few people I’d ever shown those stories to, and she knows about my awful habit of sticking things in the back of a drawer. You might say she rescued Trockle and A Puppy, Not a Guppy from obscurity.”

2. What would be one major identifying factor between your two books, Trockle and A Puppy, Not a Guppy?

“Well, Trockle is pure fantasy, but it has a purpose. At some point, most children develop a fear of “things that go bump in the night.” My son was no exception. I was trying to dispel his fears, when Trockle popped up and insisted on telling HIS side of the story. He’s the monster under the bed – and as it turns out, he’s just as afraid of the big old smelly boy who lives OVER the bed.  Trockle is a story that can be read by a parent or older sibling to a child; it’s also a good early reader. The book came about, really, because my son refused to sleep or let me turn the light off – so I figured he might as well be practicing his newly emergent reading skills.”

A Puppy, Not a Guppy deals with a little girl’s very real disappointment when mom and dad say “no” to a puppy. She’s really got her heart set on it, but they think a dog will be too much trouble and too destructive. The inspiration for this one, of course, was my daughter. To be perfectly honest, Katie was never really satisfied with the fish. Or the roly-poly pill bug. Or the green anole. But her Dad was firmly opposed to having a dog or cat in the house, so she tried to find things to like about them. I really understood Irma’s bitter disappointment, and her grudging acceptance of the guppies.  This is an easy reader – a short chapter book – and it’s written for a slightly older audience than Trockle was.

More Information about Irma and her guppies:

To give you a sneak preview of the book,  here’s the book’s trailer,

An excerpt of the story could also be found here and a candid  interview with the main character Irma could be read  here.

Where to buy the book

The book could be bought at AMAZON.COM

A Puppy, Not a Guppy($10.99 & eligible for FREE Super Saver Shipping on orders over $25.)

Directly from 4RV Publishing at ($8.99 less 15% discount until December 20 + S&H)

Author’s Blog:  It’s All a Matter of Perspective

Holly’s parting words for blog readers:

“Of course I hope everyone will read Trockle and A Puppy, Not a Guppy, for themselves – especially if they have young children to share them with. I think they’ll enjoy the stories and be a little surprised by them both.”

THE ULTIMATE BONUS

Here are Holly Jahangiri and Ryan Shaw personally greeting everyone.

Thanks, Holly and Ryan.

Buy your copy now,  and see for yourself what the book has to offer.

If you have questions for the author, feel free to ask them in the comment section, and earn a chance to win good prizes. (click here to learn more).

You could also, simply leave a comment, for a chance to win.

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“A Puppy, Not a Guppy” Book Contest

Contest for the Book : (from the author’s site)

A contest for the book is up,  for two – free copies.  All you have to do is to accomplish the following:

Irma and her guppies.

Irma and her guppies.

Prizes (two will be awarded):
One autographed copy of A Puppy, Not a Guppy.

RULES

To enter: Leave a comment at http://jahangiri.us/books containing verifiable evidence that you have completed one or more of the following activities:

1.  A link back to the blog.   http://Jahangiri/us/books

2.  A short review of http://jahangiri.us/books or http://jahangiri.us/news on Alexa.com ( http://www.alexa.com/reviews/jahangiri.us )

3.  A question for one of the characters in Trockle or A Puppy, Not a Guppy

4.  A question for the author, Holly Jahangiri

5.  Answer to the question: What kind of pet do you like best, and why?

6.  Either of the following:

* Blog about A Puppy, Not a Guppy (be sure to include, in your own blog post, a link back to http://jahangiri.us/books and a link to this blog; or

*  If you already own a copy of Trockle or A Puppy, Not a Guppy, you may complete this activity by posting a new review of either  the book on BarnesandNoble.com or Amazon.com. (NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. Previously posted book reviews are not eligible as contest entries in this contest.)

Each activity equals one (1) entry, and you may do each activity once for a possible maximum of six (6) entries per valid email address. Your comment must be entered using a valid email address so that you can be contacted for mailing info if you win! Entries that do not have a valid email address will be considered null and void.

DURATION

Contest begins at 12:01 AM on December 9, 2009 and ends at 11:59 PM on December 15, 2009. Winners will be drawn on December 16, 2009.

ELIGIBILITY

Contest is open to anyone age 13 or older. Tour hosts are eligible to enter.

WINNERS

Two (2) winners will be randomly chosen (numbered in the order in which they are received, with the winning number chosen at http://www.random.org/ ) from all qualifying entries, and will be required to provide a physical mailing address in order to collect a prize (one free book). Only one entrant per household is eligible to win. If a second entrant from a single household is chosen, another name will be drawn until all prizes are awarded.

Contest void where prohibited by law.

Additional Winners:

1.  $10 (thru paypal) would be awarded to one (1) reader who would ask the author – Holly Jahangiri- the most interesting QUESTION on December 15, 2009 (tomorrow).

2. One (1) free book – “Inspirational Stories from  Bloggers from All Over the World” to the most engaging COMMENT on the book tour post on December 15, 2009.

Requirement:

A link back to this blog: http://www.jenaisleonline.com  Jena Isle’s Random Thoughts

Good luck for tomorrow.

BOOK TOUR STOPS

I would like also to acknowledge the following Book Tour stops of “A Puppy, Not a Guppy”

(From the author’s site)

Tuesday, December 8:

Vivian Gilbert Zabel, author and founder of 4RV Publishing,
Brain Cells & Bubble Wrap
http://vivianzabel.blogspot.com/

Wednesday, December 9:

Lynne, Brendan, and Katherine at                                                                                                                                                                                                      Life is But a Dream
http://suenogrande.blogspot.com

Roy de la Cruz  at                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           The Struggling Blogger dot Com/
http://thestrugglingblogger.com/

Thursday, December 10 & 11:

Lynne, Brendan, and Katherine at                                                                                                                                                                                                   Life is But a Dream
http://suenogrande.blogspot.com

Saturday, December 12:

Heather Kephart at                                                                                                                                                                                                                HappyMaking
http://heatherkephart.com/

Rey Rombawa Jr at                                                                                                                                                                                                                       reyjr.com – Born on a Syzygy
http://reyjr.com

Sunday, December 13:

Dr. Dean Pomerleau @                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Fish School Blog
http://blog.fish-school.com/

Beverly Stowe McClure at                                                                                                                                                                                                                   The Story of a Writer
http://beverlystowemcclure.blogspot.com

Monday, December 14:

Lisa Munley at                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       Books on the Brain
http://lisamm.wordpress.com/

Tuesday, December 15:

This blog                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     Jena Isle’s Random Thoughts
http://www.jenaisleonline.com

Susan and Noah Thompson at                                                                                                                                                                                                       Susan Smith Thompson
http://www.SusanSmithThompson.com

Wednesday, December 16:

Tour Wrap-up at Imaginary Friends and It’s All a Matter of Perspective
http://jahangiri.us/books/

The Contest begins on December 9, but you’ll just have to wait until December 8 to find out the details. I’ll be posting them early, so you’ll have plenty of time to enter. (The deadline is the last day of the tour – December 15 – with winners to be announced during my Tour Wrap-up on December 16.)

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An Invitation for “A Puppy, Not a Guppy” Book Tour on December 15

There will be a virtual tour of the book : A Puppy, Not a Guppy by Holly Jahangiri which is scheduled in this blog on December 15.   The book is a collector’s item, and you’ll learn why on December 15.

To make it more exciting, a contest would be held; the detailed mechanics will be posted on December 14, 2009.

There would be four (4) winners of the contest:

1. Two (2) winners of  an autographed book by the author herself – Holly Jahangiri.

2. One winner of a $10 prize (thru paypal) to whoever would be asking the book author the most interesting question. I will be sponsoring and selecting this winner. A link back to my blog, ( if you have a blog) would be the only requirement.

3. One free Inspirational Book (Anthology of Bloggers all Over the World) would be awarded to whoever has the most interesting comment on the blog post about the book tour.

Do come back on December 14 for a more detailed  post.

Holly Jahangiri would be answering all your questions.

I look forward to your participation!

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How to Earn Extra Money This Christmas

Anywhere in this blob of a globe, economic recession is insidiously gnawing at the core of every susceptible nation. Not only third world countries are subjected now to this vicious onslaught, but also powerful nations, like the US and other European countries.

There is a feeling of hopelessness for some seedy characters that prods them to resort to ignoble means just to obtain – what to them – would be a “Merry Christmas”. For some, they feel sorry and dejected with their current financial situation that Christmas no longer holds any excitement. extra cash

But do you know that wallowing in a bind such as this one, or triumphing over it, is your choice? Yes, Christmas need not be unhappy, because the real meaning of Christmas is not about being financially well off. Having love and peace reign in your heart is the true spirit of Christmas.

Whether you accept it or not,  Christmas though has become so much commercialized that gift-giving is considered a “must”. Your friends would expect a gift – even if it’s only a gift card with a sweet note written from your deranged ramblings, (It’s the thought that counts.  What are friends for? lol). You definitely need extra cash to buy some and more. Cheer up! Nothing is too big a problem to an innovative mind. Spark your imagination!

Here are some ways to earn extra money this Christmas!

1. Sell personalized cards and Christmas decors

Before the Yuletide season, get those orders. You need not be an artist to do this. If you’ll make use of the computer for virtual cards , you’ll get much assistance from those computer gadgets online.

If you are to make actual ones, then all it takes is imagination and creativeness. Be daring to try out new themes and styles. Use shells, twigs, dry leaves, pebbles, flower impressions to prepare your cards. Look around you, there are numerous free materials you could make use of. With a cardboard and some glue, you’re good to go.

I personally know of someone who made Nativity scenes with old newspapers. He crumpled the newspaper into meaningful forms and splashed them with left over paint. They came out very unique and before he knew it, orders were flooding his door. This is because, they were very cheap and quite exotic.

You could be ingenious too, do not think this is beyond your ability.

2. Sell Christmas Raffle tickets.

You must have attractive raffle prizes. For example, selling a $ 2- $ 10 raffle ticket for a microwave oven- prize, is a good one. You could even opt to go big time; sell the tickets for $100 each and have a refrigerator for a prize is one example; or $ 200 each, for a car prize.

Be sure to prepare sufficient raffle tickets though, to cover the cost and simultaneously allow you to earn some money.

3. Sell homemade cookies.

Everyone loves homemade cookies. This is because they are delicious as compared to the commercially prepared ones. If you know how to turn an oven on and off then purchase a good cookbook and start cooking. Arrange ten (10) pieces each in cellophanes and wrap them with Christmas wrappers and presto, you have a gift bag ready.
You would be surprised at how it would sell like hotcakes when you bring them to work.

4. Buy and sell

Buy Christmas materials in bulk and sell them in retail. Not everyone will be ordering 2 Christmas trees or a dozen lights, etc. Buy them by the dozen and sell them per piece to your co-workers. You should buy them in advance so that you would be certain your co-workers have not purchased them yet.

Books could also be bought in bulk, and given as a gift. This would save on shipping fees.  I personally recommend a book by a good friend and a power 50 member – Holly Jahangiri.   Her wonderful book – A Guppy not a Puppy- is out already, and would be on tour from December 9 to December 15.

Do drop by on December 15 because this site would be the host.

5. Work overtime.

As is customary, overtime work should be” double your pay”. But if this is not possible then, have sidelines at work; like moonlighting as a secretary or cashier or librarian. There are lots of sideline jobs you can do within 2-3 hours. What about baby-sitting?

6. Sell your old books. Sell your own book.

Check your collection of books. There will always be something to be discarded /sold. There are several internet sites which buy old books, like ebay.  These sites even refund your money for the mailing/and or shipping.

If you are successful NaNoWrimo writers, like Doc Zorlone,  and Anne ( congratulations guys) -  then you could edit that soon-to-be blockbuster manuscript of a novel and have it published. You could give J.K. Rowling a run for her money!

7. Be an online, freelance writer .

There are several sites which are accepting contributions specifically for the Holiday seasons. You could write about :”How to Save on Christmas Wrappers”, “How to Recycle Christmas Cards”, “Gifts for Teenage Girls” and many more pertinent topics.
If you have a blog, you would be surprised at how you could earn good money in blogging about products of advertisers. The requirement for a blog is that, it should be at least 3 months old and has good traffic.

You could also write reviews. There are also forums that pay for your participation, like Mahalo endorsed by the trusted IM DiTesco, but be careful of scam sites. Do some googling of those you want to join to ensure that these are legal.

You can earn money online. This is not impossible to accomplish with a determined mind. If there’s a will there’s a way. As Master Jedi Yoda said: ” Do, there is no try.”

8. Participate in contests

The Christmas season heralds various contests online and offline. Take active participation. Here is an example:

$1000 for The Best of the Best Famous Bloggers Contest  by Hesham

These are only a few of what you can do to earn some extra cash.  I know you could still be much more ingenious than I am.  Do a little research about what people in your neighborhood need more these holiday season, and provide that need for some extra cash.

On the same note, I would like to announce that the book :”Inspirational Stories from All Over the World” has undergone some revisions (again) and has been  re-printed.  It would be a welcome sight, next new year – on January.  Hopefully, they would find their way to local bookstores. Book-signing would be a dream come true.

Do you know that  the first novels of Dan Brown had been rejected several times?  But look at him now,  the famous author of  Da Vinci Code .

Never give up on your dreams.  If you keep at it, you’ll succeed .

Are there other methods that you know of? Feel free to share yours.  Let’s  be generous this Christmas!

Happy holidays!

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Serendipity and Writing to Exhale

Eureka!

I have dug a cache of precious gems in this goldmine of a blog.  I am attesting to the fact that the articles are undoubtedly unparalleled.   This man is the writer I have sought far and wide in the blogosphere.

The Role of Serendipity

I was commenting on Roy’s blog when I read his comment and got impressed, so I visited his blog.  I could not help but raid his archives because I had gobbled up his newest post and still I wanted to read more.  I practically put up camp in his blog so I could continue reading ALL of his posts even into the wee hours of dawn.  I was utterly awed by his style, his language, his aphorisms, his effusiveness, and his witty one =liners and had savored every single sentence of his posts.  Right then and there, I became an avid fan.

I left my first comment in his guest post at Jaypee Habaradas Blog: Jaypee Online:   How to: 10 Ways To Bring Sexy Back To Your Blog .  I did not comment though in all of his posts because I was thinking, he might not respond.   But he replied to my comment   and it made me very happy. This was when his blog was still “Sa Labas ng Mandaluyong.” I was like a fan having a first, personal encounter with my Superstar.

Jan Geronimo

Jan Geronimo

Here are some of  the articles in his archive. They may be “old”,  but  are thought provoking.   I have read them twice, thrice and even four times:

1. 10 Reasons Why My Father Could Have Been an Uber Blogger

2. The Lost Art of Being Silly

3. The Man Behind The Blog

A New Domain Name

Then he won his own domain and named it “Writing to Exhale”.  Slowly, he really began to notice me.  Imagine!  – I – who had been cool and unruffled at work,  swooning now like a hopeless fanatic every time he responded lengthily to my comments. He was an engaging conversationalist and made all his commentators “feel at home”.   After a hard day’s work, I usually proceeded straight to his blog to relax and to feed my mind and soul.

These are some of his posts in this domain: Writing to Exhale.

1. 10 Traits of a Die Hard Blogger

2.  My Philosophy in a Bottle of Ketchup – a favorite of my wards.

3. 27 Reasons Why Jena Isle’s Inspirational Book Rocks

A Talent That Should be Shared

He is very generous and helpful too and could be counted on, without you asking for it.  I am talking about no less than Mr. Ultimate Writer himself – JAN GERONIMO!

Jan, keep on writing. As we both have advised Rey Jr. about his singing talent, that he should share this with other people; you should also share your writing acumen with more people, through your articles.  The blogosphere needs to read a Jan Geronimo to really appreciate writing.

I mean every word I said in this post.  You know me; if I have nothing good to say, then I’ll just remain silent.  I rest my case!

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NaNoWrimo: Day 11 – My Progress

11 days into NaNoWrimo, barely surviving and hanging on with the tips of my “claws” (I’ve grown claws now…lol), and ready to throw in the towel.   Well, you see,  I  scanned  the first paragraph of my “novel”,  and  I have a niggling feeling  this  won’t be  given great reviews by the critics later on.   It lacks the “IT” factor.  If it’s blood, it’s grossly anemic.

But at my age, you’d think I’d be wiser, so I’ll gladly assume that role.  Quitters never win!

Dragon Ages as Cropped by Nikes Alviz

Courtesy of Dragon Ages by Nikes Alviz

And would you believe that most of the NaNoWrimo participants are young people?   I really felt “antiquated”   (Yes, Jan Geronimo, like I belonged to the museum.)  The feeling was momentary though,  because I believe that writing is ageless, and it would give me immense pleasure to finally fulfill one of the things in my Bucket List.

Furthermore, the characters in the novel are now taking over the story of their own lives, in what is supposed to be MY story.   Could you believe that?  Now, I understand what novelists say about the story shaping up by itself.   I have to stop typing for the moment,   lest these characters would take me into the burning inferno of the Hades.  One character already had decided to be the “black tar” on Ash Wednesday, veering the plot into some unknown  territory!

A little help from my friends:  The Power 50 groupDiTesco and the rest – had been most encouraging.

There’s no turning back now,  do or die!  Go,  go, go, NaNoWrimo participants:  Holly, Heather, and Doc Z !

See you around , folks.

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Teaching Boys How to be Sensitive

Sensitivity is defined by Merriam Webster’s dictionary, as the awareness of the needs and emotions of others”. In other words, it is the feeling of empathy that you feel for other people. You are sensitive when you are able to feel what the other person is feeling; therefore, it belongs to the affective domain which is a behavioral branch of science.


How can you raise your boys to be sensitive?

You have to be aware that since it is an affective behavior that you want to cultivate, then you should devise the most effective method.

For teenage girls this is easier but for teenage boys, it could be more difficult as society expects them to be tough. Like when a boy cries, you can hear the mother say: “Stop crying, you’re strong. You’re a big boy now,” implying to the child that crying is only for the weak.

It is in these cultural norms that teenage boys grow nowadays. Before you could effectively teach them how to be sensitive to people around them, you have first to change their perception of what and how boys/men should behave. You can only do this if you start “teaching” them at the earliest time possible.

To raise your boys to be sensitive then is a great challenge for parents.

Below are suggested methods of doing this:

1. Teach by example

A lesson can only be taught effectively if you, as the “teacher”, demonstrate how it is done. You instruct them: “Be sensitive to other people’s needs.” But they observe you ignoring their grandmother or being insensitive to the feelings of other family members. Do you think your sons would believe you? Genuine learning would not occur because what you say are not in congruence with your actions.

On the other hand, if you show concern and take time to attend to their grandmother and other family members who need you, then they would learn about one specific way to show sensitivity.

Inculcating in them the Golden Rule could help a lot in this endeavor. Sometimes when boys are not “taught” how to be sensitive, they grow into men, who are also callous, self centered and selfish.

You should also teach them the value of being considerate. This story by Holly Jahangiri “Promises, Promises” is an appropriate example of how the teacher -who is supposed to be a responsible adult – demonstrated an insensitive behavior.

2. Let them read a book that touches on sensitivity

There are interesting teen books on line and in bookstores that talk about how to care for the welfare of others and how to be concerned about other people’s feelings. “Chicken Soup for the Soul: Teens Talk Growing Up” (www.chickensoup.com/), The Little Prince are two of the many books that you could allow them to read.
If you have more suggestions, feel free to contribute them in the comment section.

3. Bring them to a community outreach program

When they see other people serving others without expecting anything in return, they would learn the value of noble, generous service. You could allow them to participate in the distribution of gifts to poor children. This would be an actual exposure and immersion for them and would leave an imprint in their young minds. The joy of being able to help and make other people happy would be a unique “high” for them. They would be more aware of being “sensitive” to other people’s needs.

4. Instruct them on the importance of body language

Body language would be a good way of knowing the emotions of other people. Being sensitive to other people’s feelings would promote a more peaceful atmosphere. Teach them how to “sense” a brewing problem through gestures and actions. “Actions speak louder than words,” so they say. They should learn – through observation – the negative gestures that could warn them of impending trouble.

5. Teach them the skill of effective communication

Oral communication should be utilized to “sense” what someone is feeling. They should know how to utilize spoken language to convey and determine what the other person is feeling. Some pointers include: listening carefully to what the other person is feeling, facing the person one is talking to, having an eye to eye contact with the person, not interrupting when one is speaking, and several others, don’t use sarcasm on children. Here is a helpful article from Patricia Rockwell on doing this effectively.

All in all, sensitivity can only be taught through demonstrative action. This is because it is a behavioral output. To be able to effectively teach your young boys to be sensitive, you must have this trait within you. Persist in showing them how to be sensitive through your own actions. You could never give what you don’t have!

What about you? Do you have any suggestions about this topic? Your ideas would be highly appreciated.

Photo by mikebaird

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A Guest Post for Bing of I Love/Hate America

Viviene Coyne, fondly called Bing by her friends, is one woman you could not fail to notice in the blogosphere because of her undaunted style of presenting her thoughts and stories.


She talks about her life as an immigrant in the US , and many more in her blog I Love/Hate America. I feel honored to have been invited to be a guest writer in her blog with my story.


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An Interview With Holly Jahangiri


Holly Jahangiri of “It’s all a Matter of Perspective: Mine” has conducted a group interview among friends.

How could this be possible? Well, you could read the superb post here about – “Thoughts on Blogging“, written by the gracious, veteran writer herself – Holly Jahangiri.


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