By: DURANO LAWAYAN

At an age where only memories could uplift her spirits, my mother was denied this one final chance at relief. She was afflicted with Alzheimer’s disease and passed away on December 2, 2005.

The ailment began to manifest itself in 1992, a few months after my father’s death. The images she nurtured in her mind all seemed to blur as`the stages progressed. Relatives theorized that her will to continue waned when the only man she loved passed `away. My concerns then were not on theories but on the fact that my mother was losing us, the children and grandchildren she had cared for and dedicated her life to – not in the physical sense, but in the meaning of all she had endured for us all – to see us successfully through. It is those memories of the efforts she exerted, whether we showed appreciation for these or thoughtlessly took for granted, that would provide the most meaningful reason for her existence. Yet these were continuously eaten away by an irreversible malaise that championed her plight into oblivion. She was almost unknown to herself.

She died without recognizing any of us, nor her grandchildren, even at very close range. On several occasions, she would ask who we were , forgetting our response to the same query a few seconds ago. It often reminded me of a period in 1973, when even at a far distance, she recognized me and I could instantly feel her longing to hug me; despite being barred by soldiers and a wired fence, looking so gaunt, bruised, unclean and unrecognizable from loss of weight and psychological pain. I could feel the hurt etched in her eyes and see the tears welling her face, and I began to recognize the agony she went through, the pain of not knowing for several months whether I was alive or dead. The only positive factor the ailment brought was that she lost the painful events that transpired in the course of her struggle, to direct our lives the best way she knew how. It is a most bitter irony for her to be denied the joy of remembering that we all made it, in spite of ourselves and the depth of our youthful flaws. She lived in us but we faded in her. In a lot of instances, we were the closest strangers in her world, a world that increasingly became strange to her.

My mother was a natural soprano and she could liven up an evening with songs. She also delighted in seeing us perform and dance to the music of our generation, and adapted to singing and memorizing the lyrics of the 60’s and 70’s genre of artists and songs. In 2001, I bought her a karaoke machine and programmed it with songs she used to sing. What was uncanny was that she would start talking about events as a song was played. It gave proof that the songs which were such a part of her life allowed the flow of memories which were attached to it. Thus began my nightly concerts with my mother. We`were later joined by my kids and her other grandchildren. But the songs she chose to sing moved from the 60’s to the 40’s, until she could no longer sing any of those we programmed into the unit. Her disease was progressing fast.

On that final night, we tucked her to bed as she hummed an old folk song in her native dialect which we never heard of. She died in her sleep. But I was grateful for what memories returned when she played the karaoke unit. I was happy that even in fleeting moments, she was able to savor the mirth of the union with her family under the pleasant atmosphere of peaceful existence and carefree celebrations. I was extremely thankful that even in those rarest of times and tiniest of instances, she was my mother, and I her son.

My only lament was that I was unable to add more to her fondest memories when she was still in a position to remember. I am however assuaged by the fact that in some magical way, I was able to bring memories for my mother.

As always, Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

DURANO LAWAYAN of The Spitting Vessel is one writer I admire so much.

I know my description would not be sufficient to describe this brilliant, dynamic writer.

He writes about anything and everything under the sun, with such fluency and audacity. Yes, he writes from the heart and expresses his thoughts-no matter what. This extraordinary ability demonstrates a person who have been exposed to a lot of varied life experiences.

You should visit his blog to understand what I mean.

Thanks again Durano, for contributing to my soon to be published book – “Inspirational Stories of Bloggers All Over the World.”

I discovered blogging accidentally when I was researching in the internet about a dissertation I was working on entitled: Web Based Instructional Materials.

Since English is my second language, I had a hard time doing this. I did not even know what blogging was all about; more so with related terms like HTML, XML, widgets, URLs. It was a new world for me (I wrote about this in a previous post).

Through trial and error I learned about blogging, and I would like to think I had graduated from the rudiments of blogging as presently I am looking into web hosting, owning my own domain, and having my own domain name.

Web Hosting is defined as creating your own domain name and allowing a second party to host your site or blog. You have to let someone host your site because you do not have the access to the internet unless you have a server and the technical gizmos of owning a “space” .

Photo by Tim Dorr

Web hosting can come in a variety of styles. We have the free web hosting which is apparently what I am using now. We have also the multiple domain hosting, in which you can employ one web host or several web hosts for your sites, and many more.

You should know the basics of web hosting and know exactly what you want your site to achieve, so you could select an appropriate web host and hosting style.

You should also have to make sure that your web host is a reliable host, and could help you in the technical aspect of your site, an example is interworx which could provide you with this and many more.

There are those web host sites that would lend you a helping hand when you need it, and there are those which leave you on your own. You have to be aware of all their terms and conditions before you decide to sign in.

Web hosting has paved the way for small bloggers to be able to have their sites accessed by people using the internet. Without it, blogging would not have been possible and I would not be here with you sharing all these. Happy web hosting!

I tossed and turned in bed as I stared blankly at the ceiling. Sleep was hard to come by as numerous thoughts crowded my mind. How I had wished then that I could escape to the peacefulness of blissful sleep, so I could forget all those problems besetting me. My nightmare occurred every time I woke up in the morning and not while I was sleeping.

It all started when I first obtained a loan from a bank, then I got another one from a financing company, and then I used my credit cards on furniture purchases. When payments were due, I was not able to fulfill my obligations as I have over shoot my appropriated budget.

The interest grew and became compounded until it was up to my neck. They were all demanding full payment or else they would be forced to elevate the matter through legal means. That was why; I could not sleep that night.

It was only then that I realized debts could be debilitating to a person’s confidence and moral fiber. How I had wished then that there would be a credit repair system that would have helped me. Unluckily, there was none for me then; so I painstakingly paid off my debts- little by little, month by month, until they became manageable.

I had to secure also the help of an attorney to set the terms to the creditors for me.

Do not allow yourself this misery; if you are in this predicament, you are fortunate that a credit repair system is available online.

It does not matter how bad your credit history is, or how many times you have been denied by credit companies, this superb service could remedy a credit dispute, improve credit and improve credit score status.

Don’t waste your precious sleep over your monetary problems. Worry no more, this company has the solution to your entire financial dilemma, they could repair your bad credit and restore your credibility!

The hippocampus is the part of the brain that is responsible for memory retention. The right side is believed to be the creative part of the brain, while the left side is the one in charge of simple recall.

The right side makes you dream and imagine the impossible, to make you aspire for the transcendental and noble. The left hippocampus allows you to remember names of places, persons, dates, etc.

My memories bring me to a time and place in which my right brain made me believe that love is eternal and everlasting, that love is indeed unconditional; that love transcends the mundane and physical.

For a while, I basked in this thought and truly believed in its reality. But I guess my left brain refused to give in.

I woke up one day to learn that my left hippocampus has won; that all we get from love is a love song and some broken chords; that it is a fact that true love never dies (my right speaking), but reality bites – not all relationships are meant to be fulfilled (my left speaking), and that life has to go on in spite of this glaring and painful fact.

Drawing by ZZan – The Wild and Free

This work of art has been created by that person in my right hippocampus.

Does he still remember me?

Does he still read what I write?

I hope he does, even once in a while.

I hope he could say hi.

And I hope he does not mind my posting one of his wonderful works of art; which I treasure even up to this day.

Do you know that some female animals, like ants, attract their mates by releasing pheromones which the male could smell even from a distance? These pheromones emit a particular odor that indicates the female is ready for the male counterpart.

Even in human beings, the sense of smell is one significant method by which both genders attract each other.

The pleasurable and pleasant smell of a person is one of the prime magnets that make a person sexy and appealing. Who wouldn’t want to be near a person who smells like roses, or who smells like the vibrant spring?

I am one of those persons who get attracted by the sense of smell. I had been collecting different types of perfumes as long as I could remember. I believe that perfumes and colognes should be a vital part of a person’s daily regimen. This is an essential part of good grooming.

Women most especially, should never go without a dash of perfume. A few of my favorites are channel 5 and anais anais.

If you want to venture into a new world of exotic and pleasurable scents, then I invite you here.

Choose a scent that would smell even fresher when it mixes with your skin and tissue juices.

Experiment and discover what type perfume would enhance your personality and attractiveness.

Be audacious and try on new scents which are still uncommon with most people; and determine what is best for you.

How would you know what scent works best for you?

Try spraying some in your hand and wait for a few minutes. Smell and observe the resulting scent. There are some perfumes which when mixed with your “scent” would not be complimentary. There are those which would smell even fresher when applied to your skin.

Note from the author:

I posted CHAPTER 15 weeks ago. I know chapter 16 was long overdue but I have been busy with Helium, which I find to be an amazing site for writers.

This chapter was also written weeks ago, but I had wanted to polish it to perfection before posting. I was unable to do this though, even now, due to time constraint (work is at its peak).

I hope you do forgive the typos. If you see one, send me a PM…lol… or you could mention this in your comment.

Welcome back to the adventures of the Kalinga Man. I hope that you’ll be able to connect this story to the previous chapters. Enjoy!

You may want to read Chapter 15 first.

**************************************************
It was past 9 pm when Benny arrived home from school.

He stayed out late on purpose because he still was not prepared to talk to Julia.

The eerie silence that greeted his footfalls cloaked him with a sense of foreboding. The lights were all turned off, save for the one at the living room. The night was as silent as a catacomb, except for the chirping of some cicadas .

His heart did a double flip when a sudden thought struck him.

Where were Julia and Andre?

His footsteps quickened as he unlocked the door and walked into the shadows of the empty living room. Surely, Julia would still be awake?

His heart drummed steadily now in his chest. He could hardly breathe.

Scaling the stairs in three big strides, he flung the door to their bedroom.

Julia and Andre were curled up in a blissful slumber.

His breathing had stopped for a brief moment and was now laboring to go back to normal.

Weak at the knees, he groped for the chair and sat down.

For a second he had thought they had gone away – away from him.

His eyes were wet with relief. It was apparent they had been asleep for several hours now.

He stared at the two most important people in his life and realized that he would not be able to survive without them.

They were his life – his bloodline!

Julia shouting at him was a reflex reaction to the anxiety of what might have happened to their baby. He should have understood that. Of all people, he should have had an idea of how Julia would react.

Slowly, he approached the bed and stood there just watching them.

Julia looked lovelier than ever, her face was that of a nymph in repose.

Photo by Perfecto Insecto

He knelt and caressed Julia’s hair and touched his son’s tiny hands. He closed his eyes with gratitude and basked in his loved ones’ physical presence.

“Ben? “ Julia mumbled, blinking the cobwebs of sleepiness as she awakened to Ben’s touch.

“I love you , “ Benny whispered .

Julia was fully awake now. “Did anything happen?”

She sat up worriedly ant stopped Benny’s caressing hand in midair.

“No, nothing happened. I said I love you.”

He persisted, finding her mouth, searching for her tongue.

Julia struggled at first but, the gentle prodding of Benny’s tongue in the sensitive areas of her mouth made her respond.

They clung to each other like two thirsty travelers who had finally found the much desired oasis in the middle of the arid desert.

It had been days since they made love!

No words were necessary after that.

They made slow, passionate love exploring once again the territories that they had once claimed and knowing exactly what carnal, blissful acts could bring them both to a blinding and explosive orgasm .

***********

“Anecdotal evidence comes in two specific meanings. First, is when the evidence comes in the form of an anecdote or hearsay,” The professor was doing his rounds , as usual.

“What is the second meaning?” His eyes scanned the room and focused on Benny.

Benny stood up. “The second is evidence that may in itself be verifiable and true. But this stems from generalizing an insufficient amount of evidence. If I’m a heavy drinker and die of an airplane crash at the age of 60, this would not disprove the proposition that drinking alcohol causes irreversible liver cirrhosis and eventual death. This is a perfect example of the evidence being true but not warranting the conclusion. ”

The professor was nodding vigorously, “ Yes, yes,” he was happy with the answer. “ and in these two cases, both conclusions are unreliable and therefore are called anecdotal because they don’t follow from the evidence itself.”

Photo by imjoshdotcom

After their class, the professor instructed Benny to stay. “Now, what does he want this time,” Benny wondered.

“ Mr. Lomiwan, I understand you had close ties with the outside forces?”

“ I beg your pardon, Attorney?” he had not heard that term for months now. “outside forces” was a discreet term used in civilized society to refer to the NCA rebels.

“You have been a kumander…and…”the professor was talking in sotto voce now.

“I’m listening ,” Benny urged him not so gently.

“and I have heard from a reliable source that your ex-comrades have put up a prize for your head.”

Benny looked at the professor for some interminable minutes, sizing him up and allowing the ominous words to sink in.

Of course, the professor knew who he was. His picture had been splashed all over the headlines of newspapers more than a year ago.

Even his classmates in law school must have known about him. How could he assume that he was incognito?

He was wary of the professor , remembering how he meant to embarrass him during their first week in class.

“What’s your take in all these, Attorney?”

“I want you to be safe.”

“Did they pay you for this?”

“I’ll accept that rudeness for the shabby way I treated you before, but listen to me -”

“C’mon professor, don’t tell me you’re concerned now about my safety?” Benny interrupted him.

“Listen to me, “ the professor fixed him with an angry glare, ignoring his sarcastic comment

“Don’t take this as a joke. Be careful, carry something for your protection, ” and he left Benny without a backward glance.

********

At home, Benny stared at the menacing glint of his colt 45 which has long been kept in the closet. The only gun which the government had left in his possession. “For your protection,” General Aman had said.

The gory violence he went through for several years in his life in the mountains however was certainly no longer welcomed. He would never go back to that way of life again. It had been a constant struggle to stay alive; always on the look-out , always on the move.

He have been forced out of circumstances to that path, and now that he has the freedom to choose between violence and peace – he would always choose the latter one. He would never succumb to using his gun – ever again.
Photo by eperales

He closed the box with a final vow and returned it to the closet. He sneaked a peek at Andre’s bedroom.

The baby was smiling in his sleep. He caressed Andre’s cheek and felt warm joy creeping through him.

Tiptoeing back to their bedroom , he enclosed the drowsy Julia in a warm, loving embrace and realized what a lucky man he was.

Outside the apartment, in the shadows of the trees, the lurking figure stood watching, as the light in the bedroom was finally turned off.



_HOME

Everyone has a dream house. Even when I was a child I dreamt of living in the countryside; where the air was fresh and clean, where there was peace and calm; where there was quiet and solitude. I still have this dream up to this day; and so I dream on…

The house should be atop a hill or a mountain overlooking the magnificent view below. I love nature and would be delighted to commune with it every morning.

My house though, would not be a hut, but a modest mansion. Although, I want to live in the mountains far from the city, I would like my house to be complete with the amenities that I could afford.

A living room that should have the most Modern Furniture available; a sprawling sofa, a flat wide digital TV, a sturdy china cabinet, or the Contemporary Furniture that would be the pride of anyone owning it.

I find Italian Furniture too enthralling with the almost ethnic designs which remind me of my roots in Kalinga.

For my kitchen, I want all the modern amenities that technology could provide. Count in a dishwasher for good measure. I don’t want to spend my time doing all the household chores that could be done by a machine.

My Bedroom Furniture should be foremost comfortable. I like big fluffy pillows all around me when I sleep; and a big family bed because I move a lot in my sleep; perhaps because of my colorful dream experiences?

And of course, I want my room to be cool and conducive to sleep with Designer Furniture that would be visually attractive. That means that I will have to have an airconditioner and my own electric generator; so when it is the summer months, I could turn it on anytime I feel the heat suffocating me.
A beautifully manicured garden should be in my backyard, with swings or shades where I could spend the time when I wanted to write outdoors. I would also like a swimming pool where I could take a dip on summer evenings.
Photo by Randy Son Of Robert
I want all of these, because when I retire, I plan to pursue that one dream, I have been wishing for my whole life – to write to my heart’s content without any intrusion!

I wish I would be able to fulfill this dream.

Where to find great search engine optimization articles

The Internet is a plethora of information on various topics ever conceived by man.
One most sought after topic is “Search Engine Optimization (SEO).”
There are millions of websites all with their own version of SEO and related topics.
Photo by striatic
Here are some websites which provide sufficient articles to turn you into a professional web optimizer.
Read more…



The Elements of Egyptian Fashion History That Affect Today’s Style

The Egyptian influence in fashion has been around us quite predominantly but sometimes we fail to notice this, because it has been modified and enhanced to suit the modern woman/man.
The following are exotic, Egyptian fashion influences that are found today:
The “kalasiris”
This is a very simple but elegantly designed tunic which was worn by both genders during the olden times in Egypt.

Read More…

Guidelines for Proper Hand Hygiene

Proper hand hygiene has been proven to be the best practice of preventing infection and decreasing the spread of disease.
The hands too should be properly taken cared of because of its vital function in the body. What are the guidelines to proper hand hygiene? What are the procedures to ensure that your hands are always clean?
Read more…

I received a few weeks ago the “I Love Your Blog” award from Francis Scudellari of Caught in the Stream. I am extremely honored to have been given this award by an artist I admire so much- the quintessential artist.

Francis is a brilliant poet, storywriter and “abstoon” (that’s what he calls his dynamic drawings-a cross between the abstract and cartoons)artist.

I had given him the award before in my Working Abroad blog and will be giving the same blogs again this award of admiration.

Thanks Francis for the honor and kudos to you!